Hello, dear readers. Once again, Danielle has come up with an IDEA. And this time it's with company!
A friend and I (don't call her Maggie) have both pondered on out love of writing completly useless and shiteous tidbits of stories. So, we've decided to create a blog, where we shall post anything we feel is not good enough to warrant actual showing off, but not crappish enough to delete. We have called it The Crazies.
Maggie (hee) and I would really love it if you checked it out. Perhaps follow, if your feeling brave. I can garuntee it will be interesting.
http://thecraziesdotcome.blogspot.com/
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Title: Triumff~Her Majesty's Hero
Author: Dan Abnett
Pages: 352
Where I got it: sent from the lovely folks at Angry Robot publishing
Summary:
Sir Rupert Triumff. Adventurer. Fighter. Drinker.
Saviour?
Pratchett goes swashbuckling in the hotly anticipated original fiction debut of the multi-million selling Warhammer star.
Triumff is a ribald historical fantasy set in a warped clockwork-powered version of our present day ... a new Elizabethan age, not of Elizabeth II but in the style of the original Virgin Queen. Throughout its rollicking pages, Sir Rupert Triumff drinks, dines and duels his way into a new Brass Age of Exploration and Adventure.
You do not look at a book with a title such as 'Triumff' and expect anything less then pure entertainment. And, in the case of Dan Abnett's debut effort, that's exactly what you get.
Taking place in the time of Elizabeth XXX (a personal nightmare of mine, as I am quite simply retarded at the art of Roman numerals), it is quickly learned that this just happens to be "now" in the literal sense--2010, to be exact. The Queen rules the land with a mix of the perfect clockwork army and magic--just kidding, Magick (called the Arte, whom you might know to be either a creepy uncle or an old neighbor who smells like mothballs and makes you mow his lawn--or is that just me?). So you can generally expect Olde English prose and dialogue, but with something of a modern twist. Such as the presense of guns alongside swordplay, and singers such as Lady Geegaw and Diseased Rascal. I'm not sure what to call this...dystopia? Utopia? Post-apocalyptic? Perhaps just 'alternate history'. Whatever you please, this is Triumffs greatest...well...triumph. Creating a book that is so undefinable even the most accomplished of publicists will sit at their computer for hours trying to put it in a neat little category. It's like a huge "fuck you" to mainstream publishing and, let me tell you, it's way overdue.
The story itself is told through the alternating third and first person (perhaps unreliable) narration of William Beaver (aka Wllm) as he witnesses the odyssey of the titular character. When Elizabeth XXX (let's just call her Triple Ex?) is threatened, along with the entire concept of Magick, she calls upon Triumff (who discovered Australia. you guys!).
It is quite clear Triumff was never meant to be anything short of fun. Never too reflective or educational, but plenty raucous and a tad immature. It's, like, the perfect pirate movie. Except it's not a movie. And, as you'll soon find out, Abnett has a very unique touch to fight scenes.
The world weaved in Triumff is certainly an interesting one, filled with the kind of laughs that are immediately followed with a facepalm and a groan. I'm talking some of the worst puns you've ever read. I mean...okay, you know that one James Bond film with Denise Richards as Christmas Jones? And you know how she and James Bond got down, right? And how he's all like, "I thought Christmas only came once a year"? You know that one? Yeah, well, Triumff is horribly close to Chrismas Jones caliber. I still haven't decided whether this is a turn off or not, but there it is.
You know with these kind of absurdest genre novels, there's always a risk of Too Much Quirk and general inability to connect with the audience. And Triumff was very close to this line, almost too close for comfort. Abnett seems to try too hard a lot of the time with these jokes, desperately going for cheesy when it seems he should be going for deadpan (or vice-versa) and, if I wasn't so lenient with puns, this might be a more negative review. As it is, I happen to be very lenient with puns and I am sitting here, telling you how fun and different Triumff is.
On a more negative note...God, do you know how many names are in this book? I can't even remember them all, and I have my copy tightly clenched between my laptop and stomach to quickly look up any necessary titles. Mother Grundy, Unity, Doll Taresheet, Agnew...I found myself resorting to old memorization techniques I use when reading my state-mandated copy of The Odyssey--replacing character names with simpler ones with the same first letter. Triumff was Todd, Mother Grundy was Mary Gean, Agnew was Alan, Doll was...well, she stayed Doll. But you get my point.
I can't say I'm a fan of the narrative choice. It's told in Olde English format, and quite difficult to comprehend most of the time. Here's an example:
Water rattled off slopes of broken slates, streamed like horse-piss from split gutters, cascaded from the points of eaves, boiled like oxtail soup in leaf-choked drains, coursed in foamy breakers across flagged walks, and thumped down drainpipes in biblical quantities. For the same measure of time that it had taken the Good Lord God to manufacture Everything In Creation, the entire city was comprehensively rinsed. There was water, as the Poet had it (the Poet, admittedly, was wont to have it mixed with brandy), everywhere, and every drop of it was obeying Newton’s First Law of Apples.
See, maybe I'm just dense, but I did not get a word of that. At least, the first few readings. I digress.
Abnett, however, is quite a charmer. If one joke didn't sit quite well with you, there are hundreds more waiting in the next paragraph. Often quite silly, more often hitting that sensitive spot that we all like to pretend we don't have, Triumff never fails to be fun, and I most certainly look forward to more of the like from Mr. Dan Abnett.
Rating: 7 or 8 out of 10--perhaps a 7.5?
Also: I know there was a thing going around where blogs posted the first five chapters every day for, like, a week. Maybe you can Google it?
Once again, life has been pretty lame up in the post office. I did just mail out a shitload of contest/bookmooch books, so I'm hoping that ups my karma levels.
when Annabel, the youngest of three beautiful sisters, has a bitter falling out with her best friend—the popular and exciting Sophie—she suddenly finds herself isolated and friendless. but then she meets owen—a loner, passionate about music and his weekly radio show, and always determined to tell the truth. And when they develop a friendship, Annabel is not only introduced to new music but is encouraged to listen to her own inner voice. with owen's help, can Annabel find the courage to speak out about what exactly happened the night her friendship with Sophie came to a screeching halt?
Borrowed from my sister, who never has nor ever will read it, yet still puts up one helluva fight for it.
Phoebe is just your typical goth girl with a crush. He's strong and silent.and dead.
All over the country, a strange phenomenon is happening. Some teenagers who die aren't staying dead. They are coming back to life, but they are no longer the same-they stutter, and their reactions to everything are slower. Termed "living impaired" or "differently biotic," they are doing their best to fit into a society that doesn't want them.
Fitting in is hard enough when you don't have the look or attitude, but when almost everyone else is alive and you're not, it's close to impossible. The kids at Oakvale High don't want to take classes or eat in the cafeteria next to someone who isn't breathing. And there are no laws that exist to protect the differently biotic from the people who want them to disappear-for good.
With her pale skin and Goth wardrobe, Phoebe has never run with the popular crowd. But no one can believe it when she falls for Tommy Williams, the leader of the dead kids. Not her best friend, Margi, whose fear of the differently biotic is deeply rooted in guilt over the past. And especially not her neighbor, Adam, the star of the football team. Adam has just realized his feelings for Phoebe run much deeper than just friendship. He would do anything for her, but what if protecting Tommy is the one thing that would make her happy?
Generation Dead is a sharp, funny, and breathtakingly original novel from an exciting new talent.
Once again, Wal-Mart has proven to be quite useful to my reading endeavers. Eight dollars, baby.
Dracula The Un-Dead is a bone-chilling sequel based on Bram Stoker’s own handwritten notes for characters and plot threads excised from the original edition. Written with the blessing and cooperation of Stoker family members, Dracula The Un-Dead begins in 1912, twenty-five years after Dracula “crumbled into dust.” Van Helsing’s protégé, Dr. Jack Seward, is now a disgraced morphine addict obsessed with stamping out evil across Europe. Meanwhile, an unknowing Quincey Harker, the grown son of Jonathan and Mina, leaves law school for the London stage, only to stumble upon the troubled production of “Dracula,” directed and produced by Bram Stoker himself.
The play plunges Quincey into the world of his parents’ terrible secrets, but before he can confront them he experiences evil in a way he had never imagined. One by one, the band of heroes that defeated Dracula a quarter-century ago is being hunted down. Could it be that Dracula somehow survived their attack and is seeking revenge? Or is their another force at work whose relentless purpose is to destroy anything and anyone associated with Dracula?
Won this one from Cherry Mischievous. I'm desperatly hoping it's not just a bad fanfiction.
Anyhoozles, that's all I got this week. Now if you'll excuse me, Forrest Gump is talking to Jenny's grave.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Title: Story of a Girl
Author: Sara Zarr
Pages: 192
Summary:
When she is caught in the backseat of a car with her older brother's best friend - Deanna Lambert's teenage life is changed forever. Struggling to overcome the lasting repercussions and the stifling role of "school slut," she longs to escape a life defined by her past.
With subtle grace, complicated wisdom and striking emotion, Story of a Girl reminds us of our human capacity for resilience, epiphany and redemption.
At thirteen, Deanna is caught (by her father) in the backseat of seventeen year old Tommy's (her brother's best friend) car. Now, at sixteen, her father still can't look at her. Her brother is now living in their basement with his girlfriend and newborn baby. She has two friends in the world, and they are both dating each other. Everywhere she goes in her small California town, she is known by some degree or another. Her teenage years are ruined before they've even started, and Deanna couldn't be more miserable.
I'm not entirely sure what genre Story would be put under--there's no real plot, per say. There's no definitive beginning, middle or end (in the traditional sense, at least). It's told in a stream-of-conciousness first person narrative that somehow, by some miracle of authorism, does not come across as a selfish or self-absorbed. Not to say all first person novels are selfish. It's just that there's always a feeling that either the author or the narrator themselves believe there is absolutly nothing going on in their town then their plot and their story. While it certainly does seem as though Deanna really does believe the world revolves around her, the author--purposley or not--makes it clear that every single character has lives and personalities all to themselves, and are not just people for Deanna to bounce off of. I don't know if I'm making myself clear, but I'll put it like this: every character in Story of a Girl could easily be the protagonist of a novel of this or any genre. To me, this is a fantastic display of storytelling and a possibly where the book shines brightest. I might venture far enough to say that Story of a Girl surpases most YA books of it's genre in it's writing.
But then...Deanna happens.
Good lord, this girls annoying. When she's not making it very clear what a horrible friend she is, she's blaming every single fuck up in her life on that one day in that car with Tommy. Perhaps this is the point, to get across that to teenagers, one mistake is the end of the world, but really? Are you really telling me that every bad aspect of your life is because your dad caught you fooling around? And your telling me you don't understand how he can't even look at you after that? Yeah, that sucks, and I'd be pretty upset too, but...if I was a father (or mother) and I caught my thirteen year old daughter humping a kid four years older then her in the backseat of a Buick...yeah, I'd be pretty uncomfortable snuggling with them. Of course, three years is a bit harsh, but maybe that's just how the guy was. Zarr protrays Deanna's father as a monster of a man with zero compassion. Now, I really don't have much experience with "father figures" but I know enough to figure out that nobody's that vicious because their daughter acted like a teenager. Again, not really an expert in this field, so I could be wrong, but I highly doubt it.
Rant #2: I felt like this was intended to be a character-driven story, which is fine--but I need a little plot to hang on to, Zarr! You can't just say a girl slept with a boy and let it take off from there (okay, well, you can, but not easily). I felt like every character was cut short a little, like there was so much that could have been explored, so many bumps in different relationships that I would have so loved to have seen from beginning to end...but there wasn't. There was no real problem to begin with. For example: Deanna kisses best friend Jason, even though is has a happy relationship with other best friend Lee. There is slight tension in the "Afterwords" period--I mean, like, five seconds after the fact. She leaves. Jason and Deanna ignore each other for the duration of Lee's family camping trip. Deanna goes through this whole shtick with Jason about how she has to tell Lee, Lee values honesty and she just has to. And then Deanna is invited by none other then Lee and Jason to Taco Bell. She gathers her britches and is about to drop the egg, when she finds out...Jason already told. The day before.
And Lee forgives her.
Now, as we all know, I love the torture of my characters. I love the angst and the conflict and the general ickiness of their shit-ass lives that warrants a book to be written about them. But I feel like this was such a huge cope-out that not only does Lee forgive Deanna for making out with her boyfriend right off the bat, but there isn't even any discussion of the matter. No, "I totally don't deserve it, gurl. You should hate me" and then a "I could never hate you, girleee. We gurls!" It just didn't work for me.
But, despite all it's misgivings, all the plot holes and cheap deux ex machinas and everything I knew--intellectually knew--was bullshit...I enjoyed Story of a Girl. Nay, not just enjoyed it. I loved it. I read it in a single sitting and, when I was done, I felt the emptiness in my head where the plot had taken refuge. I missed it, you guys. I missed Deanna and Jason and Lee. I missed it like I missed Saturday Night Live this summer. I missed it like I missed middle school on my first day of ninth grade. I missed it like an old friend. I missed it, fuckme!
Maybe it's just the general relatibility that oozes from the pages. There's a certain immaturity in Deanna's voice that is, at the same time, so intelligent and self-aware that I felt like a dumbass for questioning the decisions Zarr made with her book.
I really, really didn't know what to say about Story when I started this review. I could hate it for it's general whininess factor and over exageration, or I could love it for exactly these reasons. It's a horrible cross-road that I really hate when I'm trying to write about books. But, if I'm pushing all my reviewer snobbiness aside, and just talk to ya'll like a teenage girl, I'll say this--I loved Story of a Girl, and I cannot think of one thing really wrong with it.
Rating: 8 out of 10 for pure emotional charge, but a 5 out of 10 for general Holdon Caulfield whiny angst.
Also: I was pretty reminded of another sex-related teen novel while reading Story of a Girl:
"Melinda Sordino starts high school a few weeks after she was raped at a teen drinking party. She is ostracized by everyone at school because she called the police on their party (but did not report the rape) and is almost entirely mute. The story covers her first year of school. She has emotionally distant parents, a girl she hangs out with who is not really her friend, and a crush on her lab partner. She is getting poor grades in most of her classes due to her emotional trauma, but she has a supportive art teacher. As the year goes on, through her art Melinda is able to come to terms with what happened to her."
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Title: Candle Man, Book One: The Society of Unrelenting Vigilance
Author: Glenn Dakin
Pages: 300
Where I got it: author
Summary:
Murder, mystery, and adventure aren’t your typical birthday presents . . . But for Theo, anything that breaks up his ordinary routine is the perfect gift. A mysterious “illness” and Theo’s guardians force him into a life indoors, where gloves must be worn and daily medical treatments are the norm. When Theo discovers a suspicious package on his birthday, one person from the past will unlock the secret behind Theo’s “illness” and change his life forever. Molded into an exhilarating steampunk adventure that gives birth to the next great fantasy hero, Theo Wickland, Candle Man: The Society of Unrelenting Vigilance is the first book in a trilogy by debut author Glenn Dakin
It's clear when you open Candle Man that your reading a book intended for younger kids--y'know, the ones that you secretly steal from your twelve year old brother/son/cousin/etc. and will never admit to have loved it. But you did. Man, you did.
Theo world is three rooms. The population is three people. This is all he knows.
At least, as far as he knows. Sheltered from any other life, he's only been outside of his guardian, Dr. Saint's, Empire Hall several times in his life, and each time chaperoned by his insufferably cheery butler, Mr. Nicely. Along with a def maid, these three people are the only faces Theo's ever seen. His entire existence is the epitome of boring.
Until two robbers break in to Empire Hall, and the gloves Theo wears falls off.
So, aside from my horrible summary, I really did enjoy Candle Man. Not in the way I would have liked to enjoy it, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
I think my main problem with Candle Man was the pacing--there were so many directions it could have gone, so many stories and characters I would have loved to read about that were just kind of cut off mid-sentence. I never felt like Theo or Chloe (twin sister of his maid) were real people. They had scattered personalities, that were unintentionally bipolar. One minute they're serious, the next sarcastic, the next oh-so clever...I just never felt like I knew these people. Maybe in the next volume (it says Book One, so I'm assuming there's more to come) I'll get more.
Perhaps this is another case of misleading publishers, but I had no idea where the 'steampunk' label stemmed from. Aside from the pseudo-Victorian enviorment (not really Victorian, mind you--pseudo) Candle Man had no real characteristics of a steampunk novel that I've experienced. Which, let me tell you, gave me a huge migraine, as I lurve steampunk and I picked this up eagerly awaiting some steampunk steaminess and, damnit, there was none. Gawd.
Candle Man did have it's moments--the cast of characters, while vast and (perhaps a bit too) varied were so amusing with their little quirks and inner monologues that I was just giggling to myself the whole time. I do get the feeling that Dakin intended this to be a movie (or perhaps a comic), what with the one-liners and animated scenes. Not necessarily a bad thing, but worth noting.
The plot is where Candle Man really shines--a boy who is the decedent of an old Victorian Sherlock Holmes-like character (who was ZOMG actually real). I don't consider this a spoiler because it felt as though there was no plot before this revelation, so I'm assuming it's not much meant to be a secret. Any misgivings the character development might offer is more then made up for with a unique storyline and an amazing setup. I definitely look forward to future titles in the series.
Rating: 7 out of 10--and it can only get better from here
Also: Candle Man has been compared to such children novels as Percy Jackson and Spetimus Heap:
Wouldn't really go that far, but if your looking for a young male narrator who discovers something crazay about himself, sure, why not?
Oh, yeah.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Title: Fade Out
Author: Rachel Caine
Pages: 239
Where I Got It: store
Summary:
Without the evil vampire Bishop ruling over the town of Morganville, the resident vampires have made major concessions to the human population. With their newfound freedoms, Claire Danvers and her friends are almost starting to feel comfortable again... Now Claire can actually concentrate on her studies, and her friend Eve joins the local theatre company. But when one of Eve's castmates goes missing after starting work on a short documentary, Eve suspects the worst. Claire and Eve soon realize that this film project, whose subject is the vampires themselves, is a whole lot bigger--and way more dangerous--than anyone suspected.
*note* may contain spoilers
Things have been pretty mellow in Morganville as of late. The Evil Vampire Overloard has been defeated, humans are no longer in line for slaughter, and Claire has finally gotten together with her Love Interest and Resident Hawtie, Shane. Her best friend Eve has even gotten the lead role in Morganville's annual play (A Streetcar Named Desire). Claire might even be happy. Except that Eve's new castmate/bff Kim is an old flame of Shane's/superbitch, Ada, the supercomputer that controls Morganville, is getting crazier and crazier and, oh yeah. Vampires.
If I had to give this series a one-word description, it would be fun. Pure, mindless, sexy fun.
It's obvious on the first page that Claire has grown up since her first week at Morganville. From a weak, homesick fifteen year old genius to a strong willed, scrappy non-virginal vampire employee. The change in prose is evident as she delivers mouthfuls of one-liners. And, let me tell you, I cannot welcome this change more. While she did have her own certain Little Girl appeal when the series began, it was just so annoying when she couldn't walk three inches with out Big Bad Shane/Michael/Oliver swooping to her rescue. Every second she would be cooked by a vamp or chased into a shadowed corner or *god* roofied. You'd think someone like that would, I don't know, stop wandering into dark places? Don't drink from open water bottles at a frat party? Lock yourself in a room? Well, little Claire decided to do none of these things, instead strapping on her female testicles and taking care of her own scrawny ass.
Again, grateful.
What I'm not grateful for, however, was the jealousy she had over Bitchy Kim. I mean, I get it. Your young, your in love, there's an old flame pushin' up on yo man. That's fine and all. But come on. These kids have known each other their entire lives, lived in the same small town, gone to the same school. They are not allowed to leave. Or course Shane's going to have hooked up with some floozy's that you might know! It happens! Just because he slept with her once does not mean he's going to run off with her (because...well, he can't). There is nothing I hate more then a jealous girlfriend. Is it not obvious that Shane has no interest in Kim? Does he not make it clear that she's a psycho bitch whom he would rather drill nails into his temple then fuck? Does he not spend every day and every night with you? WHAT DOES THE POOR SCHMUCK HAVE TO DO, YOU NINNY? WHAT?
*fumes*
Otherwise, all characters have generally remained their usual selves. There's a bit of friction between Michael and Eve because, apparently, Michael is acting like a "vampire"--which, to me, doesn't make a great amount of sense, seeing as a) he's not doing anything different, b) vampires are all generally different and c) so what? He is a vampire. I digress.
Shane is, as usual, cute and adorable, and I just wanted to give him a big hug because big bad Claire was making him feel guilty when he shouldn't. Seriously, you guys, Shane is my ideal boyfriend. He loves zombies, is lazy in a very non-lazy way, he knows his way around a can of whup-ass, he can kiss his pants off, and he's a protective fool. If only he had Michaels musical chops, I'd marry him right now.
I can't say I'm a fan of the official summary. It makes it sound like a small-town X-files style Monster-of-the-Week shtick. You know, taken the Maximum Ride route and dropped what if had started with in favor of an episodic Disney show approach. Fade Out, however, does stick to the previous canon pretty well, and even the Monster-of-the-Week is greatly related to the previous books in the series. A definete thumbs up to Rachel Caine, who could've ended the big plot with Carpe Corpus, but instead chose to expanded on some loose ends left over. I cannot tell you how annoyed I would of been if this turned into a Cartoon Network wacky aventure story.
Overall, good pacing and characters, and a whole heapload a' fun!
Rating: 7 out of 10
Also: Whose supposed to be on the cover? Eve? Kim?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
