Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The End of the World Crisis

My sister, Erika, wrote a very interesting article about the End of the World Crisis. I just thought someone in the blogesphere might find some amusment in it. Enjoy.

As many of you know, the planet Earth is very sensitive. One might even call it a pussy for it's overreaction to any sort of change. And this goes for civilization--the intelligent and organized life that inhabits Earth--as well. We have set up a system that, yes, works--until the next economic\enviromental anything.

Think of all the things that could horribly dissrupt our carefully built civilization: crop failure, economic depression, supervolcano--yes, that's spelled right--nuclear war, a technological rebellion via superintelligence--again, not a typo--overpopulation, global warming, climate change of any kind, massive tsumnami, ice age, antibiotic resistance, mutual assured destruction, peak oil, experimental accident, global pandemic, famine, fucking terminators, for God's sake!

And that's just organized civilization and\or humanity. Earth itself is threatened from a great many things, not excluding stellar evolution (which predicts that, in about 5 billion years, the sun will become the red giant and literally fart out--but not before burning us all to death), a meteorite collision, alien invasion or annihilation, the opposite of red giant, white dwarf, which would leave earth frozen already before gravitional pulls drag us into said dwarf, black hole ignoring the boundaries of personal space, long-term planitary movement, or, again, nuclear or atomic anything.

I could go on about an apooclypse on the universe. But really, this is exhausting.

Many have put dates on the eventual desruction of the world as we know it. A good number of religions have bet on 2012. Sire Isaac Newton has said that it will be no earlier than 2060. The agricultural effects of ovverpopulation is estimated to make a huge difference around 2050 (granting that the current birth and death rates stay at the same steady pace as is). Transhuman thinkers are varied, but are certain on the existential risks of certain technologies they've created. Apocolypses are popular in popcultures, including zombie, alien, and religous (see Armegeddon).

This isn't, however, a new development in the public eyes. In a poll done, virtually all Americans believed that some sort of doomsday scenario could realistically impact the human race, and that many feel that such a scenario is likely to be man-made. Others believe that a series of chemicaal accidents within the outermost edges of the emptiest space will cause a reverse Big Bang, one that will wipe out itself (itself being the universe).

Douglas Adams, author of the single greatest books series ever--The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy--said that the world will end and start over once the meaning of life was discovered, and that others belive this has already happened.

The end of days has always been of morbid fascination to people. We have created clocks and countdowns to the end by nuclear war. Countless books, movies, and artworks have been dedicated to the subject of the ultimate annihilation. Every dispute between every nation brings us closer and closer to a worldwide final genocide. If the world doesn't agree to disagree, if an equilbrium can't be brought about, man-made mass destruction is immenent. Natural and enviromental causes waver just behind.

What is the only things major religions agree on? Armegeddon. What is the one thing that united Earth in the Watchmen movie? Nuclear bombs on all major cities. The threat of some kind of statistically plausible end both seperates and unites us. Seriously. The only thing that can gets us to shut up and stop fighting like 12-year-olds is total annihilation and death.

Face it--to be educated on our own power just doesn't cut it anymore. Now that aliens and zombies and meteors and weather and total nothingness are in the picture again, it appears that we're screwed no matter what we do and how much we know.

The Doomsday Clock--concerning aforementioned WWIII--is currently at 5 minutes to midnight.

Thank you, Erika, for letting me copyright your ass. Now here's Adam Lambert for 2012:


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