Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Book Review: Nailed by Jennifer Laurens

Title: Nailed

Author: Jennifer Laurens

Pages: 240

Received from: ATWT


One girl. Two guys. Who says three's a crowd? When Mandy takes an unusual summer job-in construction-she has to prove she's just one of the guys. But she gets more than she bargains for being the only girl on the job. The mixture of hot guys, sunscreen, raw wood and testosterone proves to be an elixir she can't protect her heart from. Brooding Boston and flirty AJ find themselves looking at Mandy as more than just a girl who holds a hammer. Mandy soon finds herself not only lost in a whirlwind of a male-dominated world, but also the center of an inadvertently "constructed" love triangle. Mandy must choose between two guys who want her heart. But what's a girl to do when she wants them both?

Dudes and dudettes, for the first time in this blogs history...I nearly Did Not Finish a book.


I was this close--this close--to slamming this collection of paper and ink into the trash can and moving on to more refined literature (like Dr. Zuess). I didn't because I'd get kicked off the Around the World Tours for doing so, but still. I finished it feeling like I had just sat through a really, really bad middle school production of Rent. You know what I mean. All these little kids running around acting like there OMGsocool because they get to slap their asses and kiss Bobby--on the mouth--with a wig on. And they finish it thinking they did so great and they were so grown-up and believable and chic, when in reality even their doting parents have a painted on smile and find it difficult to mechanically clap their hands while the leads get up to the front of the stage and bow. And no one will be the one to say how bad that sucked. No one. Because they are fragile children and we wouldn't want to hurt they're feelings. And you know who I am? I'm the obnoxious older brother with a rebel-like attitude and swooshy hair who takes these kids by the shoulders and tells them, "That was horrible, you twerp. What is wrong with you?"

I don't like being that guy. But I am, and I have to. Because I cannot sit here and tell you I enjoyed this novel when I really, really didn't. And just because its labeled as a rom-com that shouldn't be taken seriously does not excuse it for defying all laws of plausibility and good humor. It doesn't excuse it from the idea that a romance should have chemistry between its leads. And it most certainly does not excuse it from being interesting and believable.

As the summary indicates, this is a love triangle taking place in a construction zone, involving a recent high school grad with a slight Daddy's Girl complex, a vexxed/emo construction worker whos been Unlucky in Love, and a charming-as-all-getout carpenter. Mandy, who's inner narration seems incapable of replacing the word "guys" with any other pronoun for "man" or "boy", while finally able to fulfill her life-long dream of joining a construction crew (her fathers), falls in love with both a' these hunks and must choose between them! *shoots self in urgency* *facedesk*

I know, I know--this is a beach read, Danielle. Don't take it so srsly, man! I know. I just...I can't. I can't say this was a fun, light read, even though I know thats what its meant for. I can't, because even light reads need some kind of substance, some kind of interest beyond toned abs and Cute Girls Who Aren't Afraid to Ruff It. I cannot with good conciounse tell anyone this novel is anything but mind-numbing. I mean, I felt stupider after reading it!

The worst part is, the characters weren't even likeable. Mandy was such an atypical "This is my Tough Face" kind of girl, who has apparently no talent in construction but somehow managed to get a job working with men ten times her size. The kind of girl who preps and plucks and is so smart (wheres the proof? its said alot, but I ain't seeing nothing) and guys! she has a gay best friend! (not really gay, but y'know). Plus, she just loves sitting and reading at Barnes and Noble (even though the entire time shes there in the book, she mainly makes amused faces as her Not Really Gay Best Friend tries to hide the fact that he loves trashy romance novels, while never actually picking up a novel herself--or even naming the title of one). And shes a construction worker who has such a good head on her shoulders because she has her entire construction career planned out!!!! Isn't she smart?!?!?

Bitch, please.

I hated this girl. She did nothing for me, she came off as ditzy and clueless, she was constantly trying to "be one of the guys", Laurens kept injecting pseudo-slang and trying so hard to make everyone has realistic as possible, but it just came off as hallow. All the "guys" (as they are plurally dubbed) are so one-demensional and trapped in their bubble of cliches it was like House of Night all over again.

Needless to say, this book wasn;t my cup of tea. I didn't like it at all, I had a difficult time even finishing it, and I really cannot think of anything in recent memory that made me feel as mind-numbingly stupid as this novel. Not recomended to anyone except the simplest of Gossip Girl-fans.

Rating: 2 out of 10

Also: the cover is ridiculous. A blonde girl with a frilly pink shirt toting a hammer like its a sex toy? No thanks. As Chelsie of Read, Read, Read said--


April said...

A hahahahahaha.

OMG, you are so that guy and I LOVE IT!

Keep it honest, girl!

I feel like even if a book is a beach read, there should be some sort of chemistry/plausiblity to it.

chelleyreads said...

when i first saw the cover, i wondered if it was britney and i thought she's reviewing a book about her?! lol i judged the book by it's cover before reading your review and i was proven right (wrong about britney)! thanks for this :)

alana said...

Not digging the not so subtle iniendo in the title either. I mean, wtf? I knew by the title this book wasn't for me.

And also, why are beach reads supposed to be so vapid? A person can’t read a good book if there’s sand around. Give me a break.

Lauren said...

Loved your review! Thanks for being so honest.

When I first saw this book a while back, I really wasn't sure if it would be a read I would like. Though, now with your review, I'm pretty sure it definitely would not be a book for me.

Emma said...

You are one of my favorite reviewers. I get sick of positive reviews all the time, and you say everything in a very articulate way.

SO not reading this one.

Alyssa Kirk @ Teens Read and Write said...

So I'm curious... Did you like it or not? (hehe)

You're reviews tell it like it is. Love it when you get on a roll. Thanks for the entertaining and honest review! Keep 'em coming!

Audrey; (AyC) said...

haha, I definitely enjoyed reading your review, thanks for writing it!

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