Thursday, June 17, 2010

MILEY CYRUS NEEDS TO STICK WITH DISNEY BECAUSE SHE'S BREAKING MY HEART!

Okay, as we all know, I'm not the hugest Miley Cyrus fan on this side of the equater. In fact, one could say I quite ditest her. She strikes me as a very not-nice person and her music is not very pleasing to the eardrums. But as far as I was concerned, she is a minor pest in a world filled with excellent movies and beautiful music, something to be gently mocked and brushed aside. But no more.

She has been cast as Janie in Wake.

Janie. In. Wake.



WHY, CASTING DIRECTORS? WHY?

I could handle the Wings thing, particularly because I didn't think it was that notable of a read. Fine, whatever. But Wake? You have to cast that thing in Wake?

If any of you had read my review, you'd know I was quite thrilled with the entire awesomesauce that is Lisa McMann's trilogy. And I was actually rather excited about a future movie adaptation, immediatly casting subtle, gentle eyed yet sturdy actresses as Our Heroine Janie. And you know who wasn't on the list? Miley Cyrus. Guys, Taylor frikken Swift was higher on that list then Miley Cyrus.

I'm going to try and be mature about this, by stating in a clear tone of voice my personal issues with the casting of our Untamable Mistress as Janie, Seer of Dreams. Call it a manifesto, if you will.

1) She's a pouter: I haven't seen her in anything but the first couple episodes of that Montana programme, but from what I hear she studied from the Acting School of Upturned Nose and Quivering Lips. As in, she pouts. That's as deep as her acting goes. She is no where near capable of capturing Janie's subtlety, her quiet disturbance. No. Way.

2) She can't be tamed (allegedly): While I'm really not buying into her whole "edgy" shtick, I have no doubt in my mind that she, indeed, cannot be tamed. As in she's loud. And she chews gum on red carpets. And she grinds about in a completly unironic way. And she sings songs about staying true to herself after she left the Disney Channel, except this time she's snarling instead of fast-talking. This all equals Not Janie.

3) I don't like her music, sure, but obviously its working for her. I just saw something on Perez Hilton about her on Good Morning America or something, so she's clearly having no troubles in that front. So why, dear girl, can't you stick to it for a couple minutes and let the real actors step up to the plate? Please? Don't ruin my book for me. I can't handle it.

Dig? So you stay out of my books and I'll stay out of whatever it is your doing (something to do with birds, I hear?).

4 comments:

Donna said...

Don't forget her daddy encourages her to be on the pole. Awesome. Um, hello? Parents? Can you stop your 16 year old daughter's strip tease please?

chelleyreads said...

i haven't read the wake series so i can't be too upset (though miley "acting" does bring me an upset in the throat). as long as they don't cast her as katniss...

margaret said...

I too have not read the Wake series but the first thing that came to my mind after reading your post is her sway among the tweens and whatever young age group there is. It's just like Twilight being used (*shudder*) to get people to read Wuthering Heights or any other classic that is clearly WAY better than Twilight. They're using Miley to get kids into "reading".

I've never EVER been a fan of her. I find her more irritating than a swarm of flies on a hot summer day, so I can completely understand where you are coming from. She has 0 talent in both 'acting' or 'singing' and gets everything handed to her. So I'm sorry that they've ruined your movie from a book.

But are they going to make a Hunger Games movie? I wish they'd stop making movies from books. Can't they become more creative than this???

June G said...

I understand your feelings. I haven't read the Wake series, but they seem to choose her because she's a known commodity, not because she's suitable. I kind of choked seeing her in that Nicholas Spark movie. She doesn't seem to have a lot of depth. Sad.

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