Thursday, December 30, 2010

thoughts on what makes a thriller (or, why Princess Diaries is awesome)

That title is misleading. It implies that I will break down both personal and professional criteria for a piece of media to be placed in the "thriller" category, which isn't true because that would require a lot of research and patience on my part which I, as a member of flash-media America, simply do not have. This is instead going to be a quick little post on something I have been subconciously pondering for quite some time and, you know, maybe I'm not smart enough to have it make sense for you people BUT, here you go.

I remember Twilight. Say what you will about it's quality, it grabbed you by the motherfucking throat and did not let go until you were good and asphexiated. From the moment you put it down to the moment you picked it up again, your limbs were trembling sticks of anticipation, your mind pattering with curiosity and pure, animilistic need. You needed to know what would happen to Bella and Edward, you could not fathom a future in which you did not optain this knowledge. Nothing else can hold your attention, nothing else can truly make you sit up and take notice until you know.

There's another book I read once. Twas called Princess Diaries. It was about a girl who finds out she's a princess. I read it pleasently. My hands did not shake like crack-deprived blood streams. I could easily take my grammer tests in English without my mind wondering. I belonged to the world, not Princess Mia.

However, while it did not evoke the carnal passion Twilight did, it gave me a nice feeling. If anything, it enhanced my living experience, those short moments between chapters. It made everything a little nicer because, no matter what, I knew I had a sweet little chapter of pretty clothes and shiny jewels to look forward to. I could walk to the fridge and back, adjust the couch cushions, pace around the house without my mind whiring in impatience. Which is a nice thing to say, considering my attention span seems to be shaved down ten times more then it had been when I was five and, yeah, a little dumb for my age.

In short, Princess Diaries was Jacob Black, and Twilight was Edward Cullen. One urgent, frighteningly so, the other a cute little thing to look forward to at the end of every day.

And that's it. Thoughts?


Brahmin in Boston said...

Wow. Beautifully put!

You are absolutely right. Perfect Chemistry was my Jacob Black :) It was believable but I knew that Alex and Brittany would never be in my world.

My breath never caught in my chest and my hands never shook when I saw the book in a store. But that is what makes it so special. It was a lasting aroma than a burst of too much head-achy perfume.

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